So what is this all this about ? Its me , its my life, its my experience This is not meant to be anything but me talking about my life and the experiences and fun I have in my life , and I suppose
how going straight and clean is the hardest things I have ever attempted to do. Life is complex , wonderful , strange scary and so many other things. This is just parts of mine, the ones I have enjoyed, loved and learnt from.
I have often thought about writing this and I have often been told I should write this so now I will.
Enjoy
So this all starts when I was around 25 and when I first started keeping a Livejournal. This was my record and my clarion call. I believed then and still do that used correctly and with a little common sense that Illicit drug use can be safe,fun and enlightening. I did not always use them that way as you will see but I still hold that belief.
So whats today all about (2001-06-19 19:54) - blah - friends
Enjoyed a damm good night out. Lots of dancing and a good party then a wander down by the river with
lots of good friends all equally pillled up. I really dont think i could live without that close happy feeling
that i get on nights like that. I suppose i could i just really wouldnt want to, being that close to five or ten
people is great doing silly stuff that you all understand like play fighting. I mean who does that yet its so
easy and free on E. And everyone is in the same mood, nights like that make me feel that there is something
better that this 9 to 5 crap.
My wife left early she wasnt really into the night but that fine we both understand that some nights are not
for one of us and some are. Thats another thing we know each other so well and more so since we started
pilling together.
Anyway its Tuesday and im feeling a little humph as i said earlier, i have been invited out but i dont think i
am going need some rest.
This was one of the first entries into that journal that will go on to document all of my highest and lowest times but I am getting a head of my self. This shows where I was I was young , in love and married I was also an avid drug user and party boy. In many ways I will always be all of those things. I still love the feeling that Ecstasy gives me and those around me. I think will always love it because it give me and many others a freedom to laugh,love and be a part of something bigger than the normal life most of us live. In a way it allows me like all drugs to step outside the “normal” and live how I want without the normal social constraints.
The feeling of being in a club or walking home with friends and at the time they seem like the best most important people ever. And how everything is right and fun and easy. You are not worrying about the bills or what someone will think if you walk up and say “hi”. You simply are enjoying yourself. Remembering those times and those feeling still makes me smile. Because you see I felt like I have really lived.